My Refrigerator Turned Into A Dungeon

Big ShotI thought I got another call from an unknown number, and it turned out to be from Takechan-san, the boss’s best friend with a bit of a Yakuza vibe.[Hey, is t

Big ShotI thought I got another call from an unknown number, and it turned out to be from Takechan-san, the boss’s best friend with a bit of a Yakuza vibe.[Hey, is t

Big Shot

I thought I got another call from an unknown number, and it turned out to be from Takechan-san, the boss’s best friend with a bit of a Yakuza vibe.

[Hey, is that you, Egetsu? Listen up, Masa got arrested.]

“Eh, the boss? Not you, Takechan-san?”

[Why the hell would I get arrested?! You rude little shit!]

“Ah, no, I just thought the one likely to cause trouble would be you, Takechan-san…”

[You... speaking so bluntly! Well, whatever. Anyway, the reason he got arrested is because of the stuff you were supplying him.]

[Eh, mine!? Does this mean the monster ingredients are the problem…??]

“Yep. He was offering food really cheap because of the times, right? But that caused a buzz, and the health department took notice and started an inspection.”

Hmm, so that's what happened. I should’ve been more careful. The boss had said that during these times, he might get some leniency, so I naively bought into that.

[When it comes to monsters, the higher-ups are pretty sensitive right now. Since he wouldn’t spill where the stuff came from, they nabbed him.]

“Mmm, that’s bad. In that case, I’ll testify that the ingredients came from Edogawa. Which police station did they take the boss to?”

[I’ll come pick you up, just wait. Where are you?]

So, Takechan-san and I set off to save the boss.

…

And now, I’m standing by the Edogawa river in my Bug King Suit.

When I went to the police and gave a false explanation, they asked me to show the evidence.

Hmm, hiding a dungeon that causes a dungeon stampede, a disaster of unimaginable proportions, would mean heavy penalties. If I did that, I'd be looking at 36 years in prison for hiding two of them.

Yep, that's definitely not something I can admit.

So, I boldly told them I'd show the evidence right away, and in front of the police officers and health department workers, I prepared a demonstration where I’d catch a giant crab from Edogawa.

Of course, in reality, I had secured a dead giant crab for personal consumption, hidden in a space storage, and I planned to pull it out and act like I was catching it in the river for the dramatic effect.

It was a totally staged performance.

“Well, I’m off. Sometimes it’s quick, but it could take a couple of hours, so please wait.”

I said that to the police and health department staff, showing off my skills as a food hunter. In my hands was a rope with giant camel cricket meat attached for fishing.

“Good luck, Egetsu-chan!”

“Go for it, Egetsu!”

I gave them a thumbs-up in response to the boss and Takechan-san’s encouragement, and stepped into the river.

“Hm, I guess this is about right…”

Kicking through the cool, deep green water, I moved up to about waist-deep, then tossed some bait onto the surface.

The setup was simple, like crayfish fishing. Now, I just had to wait, pretending to be a seasoned food hunter, watching for the catch while letting the time pass until the audience got impatient, then I’d perform a grand hit when the time was right.

I crouched down and lowered my posture, when suddenly, I saw a huge shadow approaching the bait in the water.

“Huh…?”

And just as I thought something had taken the bait, the rope was pulled violently.

“Ghh!?”

If the rope wasn’t wet, there would’ve been smoke from the friction.

But since I was crouched down, I managed to endure the impact, tightening my grip on the rope. Then, suddenly, it became light—too light. The rope had snapped.

But the next thing that leapt out of the water was a gigantic mouth.

A massive, sharp-toothed mouth, like a crocodile's... wait, is this thing a croc!?

“Whaaa!?”

The mouth, wide open and coming straight for me.

(Hah, I can’t run now! I need to move forward, no matter what!!)

It was too dangerous to backstep; the footing was terrible.

If I unleashed the power of a dungeon ability on this muddy, slippery ground, my feet would either sink or I’d slip. So, I dove forward, barely missing the massive jaws, and jumped into the river.

(Ugh!?)

But there, I collided violently with something that felt like a thick log. I had no choice but to climb onto it, managing to straddle the creature’s neck.

(Oh no, is this a... dinosaur!?)

What I had unwittingly caught was a giant croc, so huge it could easily be mistaken for a dinosaur.

Its black, tough skin looked like rock, and I couldn’t imagine any normal attack would pierce it. It was about 10 meters long, a monster that could very well have been featured in a dinosaur encyclopedia as the ancestor of crocodiles.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw people sprinting up the embankment to escape.

Why am I the only one here dealing with this!? Where’s the damn police!?

“Dammit… I should’ve brought my shoe pick! [Twin Salt Pillars], [Twin Salt Piles]!!”

Desperate, I jammed the salt spikes into the creature’s eyes.

“Shhhh!!”

“Wahhh! Don’t thrash around! Stay put, [Twin Salt Pillars]!!”

The giant croc, its eyes pierced by the salt spikes, thrashed violently, trying to escape back into the water.

But by twisting the salt spikes like steering handles, I managed to turn its head toward the shore, blocking its escape. It went into a wild rodeo-style frenzy, bucking and splashing, making it all but impossible for me to stay on.

And after that, the now-blinded croc plowed through the ground, knocking over reeds and grasses in a mad dash. I struggled to keep it under control, making sure it didn’t get out of the water or past the embankment.

Ugh… I’m starting to feel seasick… someone else, please take over!